Nobody ever wants to think about it, let alone plan for it. But it’s unfortunately inevitable. There will be a time after everyone is gone. In the end though, estate planning is about the children and grandchildren. Those who you have loved in life and want to continuously provide for even after you are gone. However, it doesn’t always go so smoothly. Due to the intricacies of paperwork and countless documents that need to be filed, a planned estate can go awry. This family from Buncombe County, North Carolina is the unfortunate example of this.
From a story reported by the Western North Carolina News, Connie, the mother of two daughters Michele Dubay and Angela Swift was diagnosed with Stage Four lung cancer when she decided to carefully plan out her estate. As an architect, Connie knew the time and effort that goes into a well-laid plan so she and her husband, Chuck Root decided to fill out the estate plan themselves. They owned a farm together, and Connie had wanted the property to go to her daughters. However, upon further planning and consideration, Connie thought it would be best to instead sell the farm upon her passing and divvy up the money amongst her two daughters. Things didn’t go as planned and once the farm was sold the money didn’t find it’s way to Connie’s daughters. Instead it wound up under Chuck’s name. Apparently when Connie had changed her plan from giving the property to her daughters to bequeathing the earnings from selling it, the will was properly updated so the money defaulted to her husband. Now, Chuck did the best thing he could as the stepfather to these two daughters he has never formally met. He has been going to the courthouse for days trying to get through probate court so that he can get the estate properly settled and into his step daughters possession. According to the estate planning lawyers from the Arenson Law Group, the process of probate court is extremely taxing without experienced help. They have said that they aren’t going to let money divide their bonds as a family.
This is a heartwarming story that comes out of such a tragic situation. If it hadn’t been for the mixup in the estate plan, Michele and Angela would have never known how much their stepfather Chuck really cares about them. This entire experience has brought them closer together as a family. Normally speaking with an estate planner lowers the probability for disputes after someone’s gone. Thankfully this family’s situation ended up well for everyone, but that isn’t always the case.
Having to plan for one’s estate is difficult. What makes it even worse is all of the paperwork that comes with it increasing the chance for something to go wrong. Sometimes though, like in Connie’s case, the family can come together stronger. Chuck called the situation an “emotional rollercoaster, ” but thankfully most of the motions involved were those of love.
It is not easy for a woman used to working to suddenly have to stay at home with baby. There are usually physical and emotional issues that come into play during this adjustment period; some mothers never make the transition successfully. Here are some sanity-saving tips for stay at home moms.
Get a Life!
Mothers, new ones especially, have been trained to think that once they have children they have to sublimate their own needs for their children’s. To some extent, this is inevitable, but not in all instances. To be a more effective mother, you have to keep yourself whole. You are a person in your own right, and baby will be happier and healthier if you are happy and healthy. Take time to do what you want to avoid feeling suffocated from constant attendance to your child. Pamper yourself occasionally with a spa treatment, a shopping trip, or simply a good book. It will refresh your spirits and make you a lot more patient.
Make Time for Your Partner
The only reason you are a mother is because you have a partner. When baby comes, this should not mean the end of companionship and intimacy. Just as you should take time for yourself, you also need to make time to be with your partner. Schedule a date night at least once a week, or take a couple of hours a day after baby’s asleep to touch base. It will keep your relationship dynamic, which ultimately will be good for your child.
Spend Time with Adults
A lot of mothers often get so wrapped up in their children that they become socially inept; they are unable to hold adult conversations about topics that have nothing to do with child-rearing. They lose touch with friends and other contemporaries. If just to keep your social skills sharp, join a group or enroll in a class for adults and cultivate an interest in outside things. If you are unable to go out regularly, at least keep your social networks updated for some adult contact.
A woman has many roles, and one of them is that of motherhood. Without diminishing the importance of that role, you should remember that you are also a child, sister, wife, friend, and member of the community. Keep your identity and everyone goes home happy.
Many couples often stay in unhealthy relationships without discussing their issues. When they reach their breaking point, rather than actually trying to fix their problems, many couples choose to file for divorce with the belief that ending the relationship is the only way to end the unhealthy relationship. Many couples choose to move away rather than face the uncertainty of their relationship, whether it will work out or not.
For those who file for divorce, it is essential to know if divorce is really the best decision for the relations. One of the things that couples should think about is whether they have hard or soft issues; hard issues could mean problems with abuse or addictions. Being involved in hard issues or problems in a marriage can make divorce a necessity for your wellbeing, but if issues can be worked out or if the underlying problem can be determined perhaps the marriage can be worked out.
Couples who choose who reconnect can get help through a marriage counselor. Not many couples who are experiencing marital issues go to marriage counselors, forestalling a fair chance for their marriage to work by believing marriage counseling is either unnecessary or will not help. Going to a marriage counselor, however, has many benefits. Not everyone has the relationship skills that are needed in order to maintain and solve problems in a marriage, and this is where marriage counselors help.
A key factor in a marriage falling out is the miscommunication or lack of communication between you and your spouse. Marriage counseling can help establish better communication by having the marriage counselor mediate over the conflicts that have built up, monitor the progress, and provide objective feedback that could be important in understanding you and your spouse’s needs and wants. Be warned, however, that marriage counseling can only guise you and your spouse through the process of fixing what might be wrong in your relationship, they are not the ones who will fix them for you. Going to the marriage counselor earlier on to address the marital issues can determine whether it is worth saving or it is time to file for divorce.